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PostPosted: 28 Sep 2021, 17:14
by Tresagreen
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: brilliant Jeff thankyou, just what was needed on a miserable day :smt023


PostPosted: 02 Oct 2021, 11:39
by radstockjeff
An elderly gentleman had recently retired and had decided to spend his dotage living on a large farm in the country.

One evening he decided to visit the lake around the back of the house as it was a tranquil and secluded spot, the perfect place to while away a summer evening.

Drone flies droopily swung across the surface and all around the trees were filled with sweet summer foliage.

On this particular evening however he was surprised to hear feminine voices shouting and laughing with delight, along with the frequent splashing of water.

As he got nearer to the lake, he saw that there was a group of young women skinny-dipping there.

He at once made the women aware of his prescence and they all swam hurriedly to the far side of the lake.

One of the braver women shouted to him

"We're not coming out until you leave"

The old man replied;

"I didn't come here to watch you ladies swim or to make you get out of the lake naked.

I only came down here to feed the alligator".


PostPosted: 02 Oct 2021, 11:42
by EWW


PostPosted: 07 Oct 2021, 21:18
by Tresagreen
A woman who is three months pregnant, falls into a deep coma. Six months later she regains conscienceness and asks the doctor about her baby. " you had twins" says the doctor " a boy and a girl, they are both fine and fortunately your brother named them for you" ... "My brother,
oh no!" says the woman, " he is an idiot, what did he call them?". " Well the girl is Denise" says the doctor. " oh well that's not bad" says the woman " what about the boy?" " Denephew" says the doctor..........


PostPosted: 08 Oct 2021, 13:39
by radstockjeff
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


PostPosted: 02 Dec 2021, 12:19
by radstockjeff
A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbour and says

"Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started"

Her neighbour asks "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The little silver haired lady says "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster"

Her neighbour decides to go over and help her with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster"

He takes her hand and says

"Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea and then" he said with a deep sigh..........................

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box"


PostPosted: 05 Dec 2021, 13:45
by radstockjeff
"What are you making,Tommy?" asked the woodwork teacher
"A portable", replied the small boy
"A portable what?"
"I don't know yet sir,
I've only made the handle!"


PostPosted: 05 Dec 2021, 13:56
by Tresagreen